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(back to page 3)
But it had not been just the drinking. Nothing had come easy to him. School, sports, or girls. He had never been able to keep a job for long, and even the army had released him early with a medical discharge. It seemed to Oswald that everyone else had come into this world with a set of instructions but him. From the beginning he had always felt like a pair of white socks and brown shoes in a roomful of tuxedos. He had never really gotten a break in life, and now it was all over.
After about an hour of trying to work up as much sympathy for himself as he possibly could, he suddenly realized that despite all of his efforts, he wasn't all that upset! At least not as upset as a man should be who had just been handed his walking papers. The real truth was, the only two things he would really miss when he checked out were the Cub games and Helen, unfortunately in that order, one of the reasons for their divorce in the first place.
In all honesty, Helen was probably the only one who would really miss him. Although she was remarried with two kids, she was still the person closest to him. He used to go over to her house for dinner quite a bit, but not so much anymore. The new husband was somewhat of a jerk and her two kids had grown from obnoxious young boys into whiny and obnoxious teenagers, who did nothing but give her grief. He couldn't go there anymore without wanting to strangle one or both, so he just didn't go. You can't tell other people how to raise their kids, especially since the other reason for the divorce was because she wanted kids and he didn't. Having spent the first seventeen years of his life in a room with five hundred other screaming and yelling kids, he had had enough of children to last him a lifetime. Still, despite the apparent apathy he felt about his own imminent demise and not knowing the correct protocol for this sort of thing, he supposed he should tell someone about his prognosis. He guessed he should tell Helen at least. But after thinking about it a little longer, he wondered why tell her? Given the kind of woman she was, an ex-nurse and a nice person, if she knew how sick he was she would probably insist on his coming to live with them so she could take care of him. Why put her through that? Why worry her? She didn't deserve it. He had caused her enough trouble already. She had enough problems of her own, and besides there were those teenagers.
No, he concluded, the best thing he could do for her was just go away and let her get on with her life. Then if he wanted to take a drink nobody would be the wiser or care. He just had to find a place he could afford on his small $600-a-month government pension.
He went over and sat down, took the Woodbound Hotel brochure out of his coat pocket, and turned to the next page, where Horace P. Dunlap asked the reader:
WHY GO TO FLORIDA?
Why go to Florida with its low lands and deficiency of good water? Why go to New Mexico and be exposed to alkali dust? Why go to California, with its cold uncomfortable houses two to three thousand miles away, when Baldwin County can be reached from Chicago in twenty-six hours? On both sides of the river you will find a magnificent growth of fine timber. Among the many varieties are the magnolia, sweet bay, sweet gum, Cuban pine, ash, maple, evergreen, and white cedar, with a great variety of shrubs and Spanish moss hanging from the live oaks. Satsuma trees, pecan, kumquat, pear, fig, and apple are plentiful.
The winters here are like the northern spring or early autumn. In fact, you can enjoy nature walks in comfort nearly every day of the year.... Along the river, ducks, geese, wild turkey, dove, quail, raccoon, and squirrel abound. Here is an abundance of sparkling-clear springs, and good water is found at 20 to 30 feet. All the various fruits and vegetables by reason of the mild climate are about two weeks in advance of other sections of the country. What does this mean for the health seeker? It means relief and cure to those who suffer from bronchitis, catarrh, and rheumatism and absolute safety from pneumonia; it means an easy recovery for those few who get grippe in this county. It means a carefree romping out-of-doors for the pale or delicate boy or girl, the joy of picking beautiful flowers at Christmastime.
RENT A LOVELY ROOM
OR A DANDY LITTLE BUNGALOW!
We extend a hearty welcome for you to visit our fair county. We are just as large as Chicago, only we haven't quite so many houses. Don't say we are giving you only exaggerations. Come visit and see for yourself the sunshine, flowers, and orange blossoms in December.
On the back page was a song complete with words and music.
"Dreamy Alabama”
Words and music by Horace P Dunlap
Evening shadows falling
where the southland lies,
whip-poor-will is calling
'neath the starlit skies I love
Dreamy Alabama where sweet folks are waiting,
there my heart is ever turning, all day long.
Dreamy Alabama, where songbirds are singing,
waiting to greet me with their song.
Finding river flowing
through the whispering pines
like a stream of silver
when the moonlight shines above.
Oswald put the brochure down. This had to be one of the dullest places in America, but he had to hand it to Horace P. Dunlap. He sure as h ell was trying hard to get your business. He had thrown in everything but the kitchen sink. Tomorrow he would give old Horace a call and see how much it would cost to rent a lovely room or a dandy little bungalow, and find out where the nearest bar was.
(continued on the next page)
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